Why I won’t give up yet on Camp Higher Ground

In my previous post, I made mention about having been  in the side light when my leadership term ended in our  organization in 2010 and the glaring  lull  in succeeding leadership to continue the cause we have collectively and organizationally started. But why won’t  I give up yet?

I  could still recall the scene during the  2009 Convention Baptist Ministers Association  (CBMA) National Assembly, when an elder pastor stood up in response to  my insinuation  that we hold the next  assembly in the city. This was in reference to  inconveniences experienced by delegates at the Camp Higher Ground  due to lack of facilities. At that time, I seemed to feel some kind of guilt that for some  years, pastors were deprived of better accommodation because of  our advocacy for  the Camp Higher Ground.  He boldly said something like this:  If we had endured such inconveniences for the past four years, why stop now when we almost succeed in reclaiming the legacy of the Camp as icon of serenity, spirituality and renewal. 

His subsequent motion was unanimously approved by the assembly to hold upcoming gatherings  at Camp Higher Ground.  I was humbled by such sincere gesture coming from a well meaning member. (It is this kind of unadulterated spirit that always serves as  glim of hope which keeps me going.)  At that time,  the Katipan Hall we initiated in 2006 was almost complete. True enough, the next two assemblies were held on same venue. Except for   administering  both the opening and closing ceremonies, I  was not able to fully enjoy those assemblies because of my critical health condition.

However, just when my health was quite improving  and intended to attend the assembly in 2012, the venue was no longer at Camp Higher Ground. I was told,  due to a request of  a local church for their anniversary. Although, it was met with various reactions including  some nasty criticisms which can be retrieved from archives of the Association’s FB Group, such assembly served as precedence in leaving  the Camp (and seemingly the corresponding advocacy). The  succeeding assembly was held no  longer at the Camp because of another request of local  church in commemoration of centenary   and the upcoming one in January 2014 will be held in another region as requested, again.

It remains to be seen whether the assembly would ever remember our  previous commitments and advocacy related to the Camp Higher Ground. Whether  the idiomatic expressions  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much makes it wander would old true in our organization.

But I, for one, won’t give up yet on Camp Higher Ground. Why? It’s because of  the breakthrough we once had which served as a symbol of solidarity among pastors. The KATIPAN Hall which was established by our collective faith and action.

Katipan is an Ilonggo term for Covenant. In the CBMA context it sums up the phrase Katuman sang Tingob nga Pagsalig kag Binuhatan. In English, this means “realization of collective faith and action.” True to its meaning, KATIPAN Hall has become a symbol of solidarity among pastors. Katipan has galvanized our relationship. It even boosted the morale of pastors who have been stereotyped to be always in the receiving end. Of course, not a few had raised their eyebrows questioning our capacity to sustain the project. Even engineers who volunteered their labor could not help but smile upon learning our start up budget.

(to be continued)

My thoughts won’t give up yet on Camp Higher Ground

Yesterday while waiting for our graduate students, I had a hearty  chat with a colleague at the Department of Social Work on lots of issues and concerns related to our profession, work and dreams including our fairy tale wishes.   Sounds funny, ridiculous or absurd at our age. Yet we have some of these moments probably as part of our stress relieving mechanism.

One of the things we discussed was my dream for the Camp Higher Ground and my seemingly irreligious thoughts on where to get the resources. A week earlier I remembered also talking with a younger faculty at the Department  during our free time with similar topics and  almost the same  fantasies. Very much earlier, or should I say from time to time, I would cherish memories of our previous advocacies and gains  related to the development of Camp Higher Ground and engage in day dream  of an aborted advocacy on Pastors’ Village at the Camp.

One that is complete with  facilities and amenities for  pastors to stay, especially the retired ones so that they will have more time for fellowship while sharing their stories of faith and struggles. In the process, these  are documented for the benefit of younger generations and perhaps as reference for our  theological institutions and legacy of faith. The village can also provide opportunities for them to maintain their productivity and  a venue for interaction with younger ministers and seminarians.  And probably, for them to enjoy the abundant life which had been deprived to some, while waiting for the kingdom come or the eternal bliss whichever happens  first.

Every time I hear or read news about philanthropists who donated huge amount for charity and church-related endeavor, more often for priests, I cannot help but wish that one of these days, there will  be similar blessings for pastors welfare. So that  I would put an end to my irreligious thought of possible resources.

In fact, few months ago, I could not help myself but awed by the gesture of a business tycoon, Ramon Ang,  for  donating  P120 million of his personal funds to the local Jesuit community for  a  multi-story “Jesuit Health and Wellness Center” for aging priests who have dedicated their lives to serving Filipinos. Again, I asked myself, when will the time come that such kind of gesture will be directed to our pastors?

Early this morning while doing my regular walking exercise and reflections, I have realized that after  more than three years of being in the side light when my leadership term ended in our  organization. Despite the lull  in succeeding leadership to continue the cause we have collectively and organizationally started, my thoughts won’t give up yet on Camp Higher Ground.

The clarion call we made almost 7 years ago keeps ringing  on my ears. The challenge to reclaim the heritage of the  Camp Higher Ground  as icon of serenity, spirituality and renewal is  still valid. The multifaceted testament of  our KATIPAN Hall project is worth the recall to give us fresh hope. What more, my seemingly irreverent thought of possible funding sources has been added with incredible  wish that a philanthropist somewhere, sometime might read this blog and, in a rare instance, decide to donate his fortune to make our dreams come true. A day dream again? Maybe yes. But am I not a believer of endless possibilities?

(to be continued)

Experience is not the best teacher

This is a repost of  my article which was published on this site two years ago.

Since time immemorial, experience has been acclaimed as the best teacher. Nobody dares argue. Not until somebody claims, it is the worst. I don't want to join the debate because I already found the best teacher ,i.e. life itself. A timeless, tireless, relentless and irresistible teacher, as well. Giving me lessons, despite my unwillingness to learn.

The year 2009 will long be forgotten by my family as it marks my 55th year. At the peak of my career, I felt relatively stable and fulfilled in my achievements. The ups and downs of life's experiences have increased my knowledge and honed my skills in living and serving. Unsophisticated, my direction was to receive less and give more. Beaming with confidence I have learned much, my motivation was to teach and share more.

At that time, I was about to wrap up my successful leadership as national president of the Baptist pastors affiliated with the Convention of Philippine Baptist Churches. Five years earlier, I was awarded as one of the ten outstanding social workers of the Philippines. Nothing more to ask except for longer life to continue my service. And to consolidate my experiences as registered social worker and ordained minister into books/publications . So that I can teach others also.

All of the sudden, the ecstasy was shattered by a chronic heart ailment, compounded with unusual nerve disorder in the last quarter of the aforementioned year. Three months away from our national assembly to cap my six years of service and leadership. It was a devastating experience for me and my family. The worst we ever encountered so far. Such condition has constrained my active life of service. Adding pain was the realization that we have given all in service without saving for ourselves in times of crisis.

Most of my time is spent at home due to limited mobility, making me vulnerable to discouragement and depression. This condition has been going on  for more than a year. A  wrestle  with the nagging issues of pain and suffering and search for the meaning of all these experiences in life. In solitude, I have discovered the best teacher. That is LIFE itself.

Learning lessons on faith, justice and grace

One of the unforgettable experiences I have happened  in General Santos City, the birthplace of the world renowned Filipino boxer- congressman, Manny Pacquiao.  It was during my active years while still the national president of the Convention Baptist Ministers Association.  We were conducting continuing theological classes for pastors under the Institute for Advanced Theological Studies (IATS). The institute is an outreach arm of the College of Theology, Central Philippine University.

As one of the resource persons, I took the privilege to promote the newly designed Master of Socio Pastoral Ministries (MSPM) program for pastors. Two subjects in the seminar were assigned to me, namely: Community Organization and Strategies in Church and Community Mobilizations. These are credited to MSPM program, should participants decide to pursue the course.

Awed by the relevance of the community organizing process in their pastoral work, participants actively participated in the discussion. I was presenting the stages in community organization designed by the University of the Philippines, a premier state university in the country when interrupted by a simple looking old minister. He was so excited to share his experiences similar to the theories presented. With hesitation, he asked whether the process they did can be related to the stages discussed. When I gave the affirmation, in disbelief he blurted out: “Kon amo, maalam gali kami, Pastor?” Implying how wise/intelligent they are to rightly practice the stages even without setting their feet on the prestigious university, nor even having a formal education.

The more he was surprised when I candidly affirmed the correctness of his thoughts and their practice. Thereafter, I discussed with them the interrelatedness of theory and practice. How theories are developed through observation of experiences. Just as how these theories are put into practice. Even touching the beauty of God’s creation and design, the wisdom in nature, and learning through life’s experience including the commercialization of education.  I pointed out their God-given wisdom and natural talents, including common sense, emphasizing not to be overly dependent on theories and academic preparation or the lack of it. I believe that wonderful encounter has boasted their morale, enhanced their confidence, bridged the gap between education and practice, and inspired them to continue their respective ministries.

I recall the aforementioned experience as part of my on-going journey, as I continue to wrestle with my lingering illness vis-à-vis faith and prayer. Losing my seemingly invincible stature, either real or imagined,   my health condition has exposed my vulnerability. I have been undergoing hands- on experience on issues of faith, prayer, sufferings, care of God, and all those things which can be easily resolved theoretically/spiritually.  Now, in a situation wherein the acid test of faith is required, I have to resolve these issues:  Can my faith indeed move mountains? If not, where lies the difference? Within me, or the kind of faith that I have? The care of God is out of question, here. It has become obvious by my own survival. If not for God’s care, I don’t think I would ever survive the test.

In the process of recollection, I found myself no longer the teacher but a student that has learned a wonderful lesson on theory and practice. I am no longer concerned with the theory to support my practice, of reason and explanation for my action. I just want to relate what I believe, regardless of correctness or soundness.  I want to speak out my mind and express my belief. Later, I will just analyze it or leave to the readers that task. Hebrews 11:1 has become real to me. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

One  night, while having trouble with sleep, I spent the time talking to God. Unlike in past when bothered by such situation,  this time I started  thanking Him for letting me experience the painful process of recovery. The delay has caused me a lot of trouble  and mixture of  thoughts and  questions on  God’s care, and his ambivalent provision. It has also exposed my faith when it  felt  short of getting what I asked for. On the other hand, the delay has given me  lot of lessons. I have experienced  significant changes within and without.Wonderful  ideas and  concepts have been developed. I have valued  the importance of health and holistic development of self. Just as I have realized my negligence and abuse of health. Likewise,  my  view of mission and God’s purpose has dramatically changed, as well as my understanding of church, ministry vis-à-vis the Kingdom of God.

After  the  thanksgiving narrative, my thoughts  turn into the issue of  justice. I realized that the slow and  painful process, including the long wait I have experienced  are  worth  the abuses and negligence I have done to my body.  Admittedly, I have abused my health, my body, deliberately or in deliberately, consciously or not. Hence,  I could not demand  for immediate recovery. Guilty, I felt I deserve the pain,  the price to pay.

I have resolved  to undergo the process and wait for natural recovery, while learn  to value health. As I continue to pray for the full recovery  sooner or later,  the meaning of  grace is becoming clearer to me. Should God hear my prayer and grant me the full recovery soon,  it would mean grace.  God’s grace that shortens the  justice demands. I realized, this is no longer a question of my  faith, for faith is not an unreasonable demand. It is an expectation of  grace beyond justice.
 

Open letter for MSPM students

Dear Pastor,

It’s more than a year that we have not met. Not only due to my health condition but also with the change of leadership in the Convention Baptist Ministers Association (CBMA) and Convention of Philippine Baptist Churches (CPBC). Having in the sideline now, I am no longer acquainted with the direction and priorities of both organizations. But this  is just  a temporary set back. With the slow but sure healing process, it won’t be long and, by the grace of God, I will resume my commitment to the full.

The  scene during the most critical moment in my life has already been embedded in my mind. When I was about to make the last breath, my final thought was: Not now, Lord. Because of my family, the CBMA, and there are many evil to fight still. God might have heard my last appeal and searched my heart that  He made me survive. The long and painful process of recovery has become a purging process to me and almost daily I experience healing inside. With this development, I become optimistic to receive the total healing soon.

And with the initial physical healing, I have started to fulfill my commitment to God for my family  in the last months. I feel the time has come for me to move the next level and do the last later. Having learned from experience, I want to move slower this time. Hence, I will focus first  on the Master of Social Pastoral Ministries (MSPM).. Our  priority is to have all those who started the program complete the requirements. While  train those  who have graduated  either to  assist or handle  another batch who signify their  interest to avail of the program. Our target is to expand to other evangelical groups and the lay leaders.

It is in this connection that I would like to invite you to a  reunion meeting and seminar on May 30, 2011, 9:00 am- 3:00 pm at Central Philippine University. I have coordinated with the University Outreach Center this activity.  Dr. Melvin M. Mangana  is very much willing to co sponsor the activity with the Learning Institute for the Fullness of life and Empowerment (LIFE), Inc. We will take charge of the food and lodging when necessary. Your counterpart  is the transportation expenses.

Please confirm attendance not later than May 20. God bless you.

In the service,

EDWIN I. LARIZA